Yesterday was my last day at my summer job. Thursday was my last day of summer classes. I will very soon be loading up and moving back to the town where I attend Uni. This is the final time I will make this journey; this is the year I graduate, come spring.
I've done so many things wrong in just the last two days, it's frustrating. I'm trying to brush it off and get on with looking forward, but there are a good dozen little things that have gotten under my skin and irritated me.
There is so much to do!
I've never been happier and, conversely, I've never been more frustrated. The high valence of emotions running through this year seem to be a theme, an indication of the polarization of life. Yet, the more polarized everything becomes, the more obvious it is that opposites are inseparably related. It's all very good in theory; the dark and light, the orange and blue-- there's a reason why they're called complementary colors-- the wrong and right, but there is a strange feeling when it is actually experienced. I would love to shudder off this dark feeling and become carelessly happy, but I know that would only lead to more mistakes, and a loss of understanding.
The duality of experience is an inexplicable emotion. It really brings into perspective the saying, 'it's all in your point of view.'
Giraffe and Moon Sketch, 2009
1 comment:
Hey! Maybe you are becoming bi-polar. No but this is an exciting/scary/frustrating time for me too. There is just so much to do and so much future to prepare for. I used to think of everything as being "black and white" and it all seemed so clear. Now, as you know I am just confused and make everything complicated. I think the real problem is that though my new perspective is harder and frustrating, it seems to be more accurate.
Post a Comment