There has come a need for me to know myself better. Last month, as I was coming home from a field trip in SLC, a few thoughts crossed my mind about how to make my life happier. So, with a traditional list in hand, I decided to construct lists of threes.

Things I love:

Family Stories
My happiest moments come when my siblings and I are all together. Last month my brother married, and so there is a new sister in my family. When all of us are gathered, my sister, my two brothers, and now my new sister-in-law, we laugh and smile more than I ever have when we are apart. There is a liberating spirit about us, as we joke, and tease, sing and quote to our heart's content.

Knowing
There is a peculiar thrill in knowing an answer to something. Not necessarily finding the answer, just coming to a moment in time when that knowledge is useful. It's not the research that makes me happy, it's the actual knowledge of something.

Creating
What a wonderful thing it is to know it was my hands that brought something into being! This is perhaps the strongest attraction that I have to art and writing. Developing the capability of pulling something from the imagination and pushing it into reality is a wonderful experience.

Things I detest:

Failure
This goes along with knowing and creating. I suppose I'm afraid to put my full effort into something because the more I put into it the harder it is to handle the potential failure.

Self-Centered Chauvinist Narcissistic Bigots
I think that one's self explanatory. But, let's face it, anybody who will dismiss anybody else based on superficial reasons is really shooting themselves in the arsenic. Keep an open mind, people. Nobody else is perfect either.

Cinnamon Candies
Yeah. It's more that I'm allergic to them, rather than actually hating them.

Secret Dreams:

Voice Actor
I still want to be a voice actor. When I was little, however, I heard a recording of just me talking and I developed a paralyzing fear of tape recorders. I'm starting to get over that experience, but it still affects my behavior.

Music Artist
Very similar to above, actually. I was in choir until eighth grade when, unable to overcome my fear of myself, I did not try out for the advanced show choir (the audition required a solo). However, I still sing around the apartment, and I enjoy plunking on random instruments. Just don't expect me to perform by myself.

Zoologist
I loved animals when I was growing up. Along with this I wanted to be a veterinarian, but since I don't like to think about pain, I figured I would do better by sticking to studying them. For about a week in college I even entertained the idea of becoming an entomologist.

In Ten Years:

I want to be incredible. Not famous; just a master of something, or everything. Becoming famous has always frightened me, but I also knew that I wanted to be reliable for being good. I suppose my goal for ten years from now is to get over my fear of myself, and be unafraid to express what I know.